quotes - poems - jokes - photos

Funny Quotes & Funny Jokes

Hey, check out all our Funny Picture Quotes & Jokes!

If at first you don't succeed you're not Chuck Norris!
Why didn't the teacher fart in the classroom?
What do you call cheese that is not yours?  Nacho Cheese
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my KIDS too it.

Funny Quotes & Jokes

From Henny Youngman's "Take my wife--please" to George Carlin's "Just because the monkey is off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town," funny quotes and sayings have lifted the spirits of millions for centuries.

It's been proven that laughing can actually extend your life and keep sickness away, so laughing really is the best medicine. Just ask Dr. Patch Adams, who doesn't really look anything like Robin Williams, but helped usher in an era where even doctors don't take themselves as seriously as they once did.

We all know those Gloomy Gus types in life, who always seem bent on bringing us down with their tales of woe. If it weren't for the comedians of the world, with their unique views of popular funny topics and endless funny movie quotes, we would never find the antidote for those who spread sadness rather than joy.

Who hasn't come home from a rough day at the office where your boss lambasted you for one thing or another, only to watch Steve Martin in The Jerk and laugh hysterically as he finds his number listed in the phone book. Or Chevy Chase in National Lampoon's Vacation when the cop pulls him over because he forgot to put the dog in the car.

Of course, funny quotes and jokes can come from anywhere. A funny card is always good for a laugh. Who hasn't let out a guffaw at some funny birthday quotes in a Hallmark card or witty verse from a quote website, sent by a friend who thought you might need a little pick me up.

Most of us really appreciate a good joke or a funny quote. Often they aren't only humorous, but poignant. The world is filled with funny inspirational quotes and funny friendship quotes that help us not only appreciate the world around us but those who surround us.

Just as interesting is the fact that humor and funny quotes and jokes are really universal. While everyone has a slightly different sense of humor, even the most primitive cultural on the earth loves the equivalent of a pie in the face. We long to laugh because it makes us feel better.

Why? Actually laughter releases those feel-good endorphins we love so much, giving us a sense of well being. It also relaxes the whole body. A good laugh because of funny quotes and jokes can relax our muscles for up to 45 minutes. It also improves the flow of blood through our heart and increases our infection-fighting antibodies.

"Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health," says Dr. Paul E. McGhee. It not only keeps the body healthy, but also strengthens relationships, makes us more attractive to others and promotes group bonding.

So the next time you're feeling a little down, take a moment to look up a couple of funny quotes or jokes online. It can be an old favorite that is guaranteed to tickle a rib or a new quote that not only brightens your day, but also keeps you from picking up a pie on the way to work to throw in your boss' face. Yeah, it's still funny, isn't it?

Like us on Facebook for an inspiring quote every day!