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Erma Bombeck Quotes

Found 130 quotes by Erma Bombeck .
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Erma Bombeck
"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
Advice American Journalist
Erma Bombeck
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
Action
Erma Bombeck
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
American Journalist
Erma Bombeck
"Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed."
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
Erma Bombeck
"Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old."
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
American Journalist
Erma Bombeck
"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
American Journalist Comedy

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Erma Bombeck
"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
American Journalist
Erma Bombeck
This quote contains photos.
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
American Journalist Editor's Pick Funny inspirational Quote of the Day Short Funny Top Funny
Erma Bombeck
"Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed."
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
Adult Graduation
Erma Bombeck
"Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?"
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
American Journalist Funny Life
Erma Bombeck
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
American Journalist Automobile
Erma Bombeck
"The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going to drop?"
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
Bad
Erma Bombeck
"I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food"
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
Food
Erma Bombeck
"For years [my wedding ring] has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
Erma Bombeck
"When humor goes, there goes civilization."
Erma Bombeck
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck
American Journalist Civilization

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