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Groucho Marx Quotes

Found 151 quotes by Groucho Marx .
[ Page 1 of 11 ]
Groucho Marx
This quote contains photos.
"In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom."
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
American Comedian Funny
Groucho Marx
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
Groucho Marx
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
American Comedian Funny
Groucho Marx
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
American Comedian Books And Reading Funny
Groucho Marx
"No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early."
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
Boss
Groucho Marx
"A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast"
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx

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Groucho Marx
"If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you."
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
American Comedian Funny
Groucho Marx
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies."
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
American Comedian Art Funny Quote of the Day
Groucho Marx
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
American Comedian Funny Quote of the Day
Groucho Marx
This quote contains photos.
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
American Comedian Bed Funny Quote of the Day
Groucho Marx
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
American Comedian Control Funny
Groucho Marx
"You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it"
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
Groucho Marx
"Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know."
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
Groucho Marx
"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again."
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
American Comedian Funny
Groucho Marx
"Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member"
Groucho Marx
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_Marx
Resignation

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