American Comedian Birthday Quotes

Found 8 quotes in the topic of American Comedian Birthday .
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"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down."

George Burns

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Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Burns

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American Comedian Birthday Funny Life

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"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

Steven Wright

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Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Wright

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American Comedian Birthday Funny

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"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."

Bob Hope

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Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Hope

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Age And Aging American Comedian Birthday Funny Life

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"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."

Phyllis Diller

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Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllis_Diller

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American Comedian Birthday Children Funny inspirational

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"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out.""

Jerry Seinfeld

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Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Seinfeld

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American Comedian Birthday Funny

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"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half."

Gracie Allen

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Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gracie_Allen

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American Comedian Birth Birthday Funny

Featured Book: The Most Brilliant Thoughts of All Time (In Two Lines or Less) by John M. Shanahan

You don't have to be a genius to sound like one. Here's a collection of the most profound and provocative wit and wisdom in the English language in two lines or less. Edited by entrepreneur John M. Shanahan, who created the wildly successful Hooked on Phonics program, this wonderful book presents the best that has been thought and said on every imaginable topic.

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"For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."

Stephen Wright

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