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American Comedian Life Quotes

Found 26 quotes in the topic of American Comedian Life .
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George Burns
"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down."
George Burns
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Burns
American Comedian Birthday Funny Life
W. C. Fields
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."
W. C. Fields
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W._C._Fields
American Comedian Funny inspirational Life Motivational
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This quote contains photos.
"There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins."
Josh Billings
American Comedian Editor's Pick Funny Life Quote of the Day
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"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from."
Al Franken
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Franken
American Comedian Funny Life
Jay Leno
"Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?"
Jay Leno
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jay_Leno
American Comedian Funny Life
Bob Hope
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
Bob Hope
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Hope
Age And Aging American Comedian Birthday Funny Life

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"I never told a joke in my life."
Andy Kaufman
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Kaufman
American Comedian Funny Life
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This quote contains photos.
"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something."
Jackie Mason
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackie_Mason
American Comedian Funny Life
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"Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going to fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why."
Eddie Cantor
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Cantor
American Comedian Funny Life
George Carlin
"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."
George Carlin
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Carlin
American Comedian Funny inspirational Life
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"The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm."
Josh Billings
American Comedian Funny Life
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"I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope."
Jerry Lewis
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Lewis
American Comedian Funny Life
Rodney Dangerfield
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."
Rodney Dangerfield
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodney_Dangerfield
American Comedian Funny Life Love Parents
Rodney Dangerfield
"Life is just a bowl of pits."
Rodney Dangerfield
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodney_Dangerfield
American Comedian Funny Life

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