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Found 4,709 quotes in the topic of Funny .
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"A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age."
Source Unknown
Birthday Friends Or Friendship Funny
Jimmy Carter
This quote contains photos.
"I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but i can't get my wife to go swimming."
Jimmy Carter
Funny Funny Life Life
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This quote contains photos.
"Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong."
Author unknown
Funny Funny Life
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This quote contains photos.
"Three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere: Hold my purse."
Author unknown
Friend or Friendship Funny Funny Life
Jerry Seinfeld
This quote contains photos.
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason"
Jerry Seinfeld
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Seinfeld
Funny Life Quote of the Day
Winston Churchill
This quote contains photos.
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
Winston Churchill
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winston_Churchill
Editor's Pick English Statesman Funny inspirational Lies And Lying Quote of the Day Short Funny Top Funny

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You don't have to be a genius to sound like one. Here's a collection of the most profound and provocative wit and wisdom in the English language in two lines or less. Edited by entrepreneur John M. Shanahan, who created the wildly successful Hooked on Phonics program, this wonderful book presents the best that has been thought and said on every imaginable topic.
Mark Twain
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
Mark Twain
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Twain
American Author Class Funny inspirational Motivational
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Mark Twain
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old."
Mark Twain
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Twain
Age And Aging American Author Birthday Friends Or Friendship Funny
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"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
Robert McCloskey
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_McCloskey
American Author Communication Funny inspirational Life
Rodney Dangerfield
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
Rodney Dangerfield
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodney_Dangerfield
American Comedian Funny
P. J. O'Rourke
"Earnestness is stupidity sent to college."
P. J. O'Rourke
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._J._O%27Rourke
American Comedian College Funny
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"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking."
Elayne Boosler
American Comedian Country Funny Quote of the Day
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"James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was."
Will Ferrell
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_Ferrell
American Comedian Funny
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This quote contains photos.
"Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest."
Joe Lewis
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_E._Lewis
Friends Or Friendship Funny Quote of the Day
Oscar Wilde
"The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything."
Oscar Wilde
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_Wilde
Age And Aging Birthday Funny inspirational Life

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