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South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut Quotes

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"Mr. Garrison: ...I'm Sorry Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. "

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"[In bed together]
Satan: Is sex the only thing that matters to you?
Saddam Hussein: I love you.
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"Satan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?
Saddam Hussein: Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"Terrence: You're such a pig-****er, Phillip!
Phillip: Terrance, why would you call me a pig-****er?
Terrence: Well, let's see. First of all, you **** pigs.
Phillip: Oh yeah!
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"[Finishing his Kyle's Mom song]
Cartman: Kyle's Mom... She's a big, fat, ****in' BIIIIIIIIITCH! Who's a ****in' *****? Kyle's Mooooooooom! Yeah!
[Notices Kyle's mom standing behind him]
Cartman: Oh ****.
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"[Kenny has just died in the hospital]
Cartman: I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him a hundred dollars.
Kyle: It's not your fault, Cartman.
Cartman: Dude, I know, I'm just ****in' stoked I don't have to pay him.
Kyle: Oh, that's real nice! He was your friend, you fat ****!
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"Terrence: Now, Phillip, did you learn something in all this?
Phillip: I did, Terrence. I learned that you're a boner-biting, dick-fart, ****-face!
[they laugh]
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"Terrence: Well, Phillip, I hope you've learned something from this whole experience.
Phillip: I sure have, Terrance. I've learned that you are a boner-biting, dick-fart, **** face.
Terrence: [they laugh] Wanna see the northern lights?
[strikes a match, farts, burns up]
Phillip: Ha ha ha. You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart. Ha ha ha.
Terrence: I sure did, Philip!
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"Brian Dennehy: Did someone say my name?
Stan: Who are you?
Brian Dennehy: I'm Brian Dennehy.
Kyle: What? No, not ****in' Brian Dennehy!
Stan: Get the **** out of here!
Brian Dennehy: Oh. Bye.
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"Billy Baldwin: [answers the phone] Baldwin residence. No, this is Billy Baldwin. If you want Daniel Baldwin call his extension, stupid!
[hangs up the phone]
Billy Baldwin: Hey Alec, you know what sucks about being a Baldwin?
Alec Baldwin: No, what?
Billy Baldwin: Nothing!
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"Stan: Dude, what the **** is wrong with German people?
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"[demonstrating a V-Chip planted into Cartman]
Dr. Vosknocker: Now, I want you to say doggy.
Cartman: Doggy.
Dr. Vosknocker: [to audience] Notice, that nothing happens.
[to Cartman]
Dr. Vosknocker: Now, say Montana.
Cartman: Montana.
Dr. Vosknocker: Good. Now, pillow.
Cartman: Pillow.
Dr. Vosknocker: All right. Now I want you to say horse ****er.
Mrs. Cartman: Go on, honey. It's all right.
Cartman: Horse fu...
[gets shocked by the V-chip]
Cartman: That hurts, goddamnit!
[gets shocked again]
Dr. Vosknocker: Now I want you to say big floppy donkey dick.
Cartman: No!
Dr. Vosknocker: [to audience] Success! The child doesn't want to swear!
Cartman: This isn't fair, you sons of bi...
[gets shocked repeatedly]
"

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"Cartman: Don't call me fat, you ****ing Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Cartman: Jew?
Kyle: No, he's talking about ****. You can't say **** in school, you ****ing fat ass!
Mr. Garrison: Kyle!
Cartman: Why the **** not?
Mr. Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said **** again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny: ****!
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. ****-****ety-****-****-****.
Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
Mr. Garrison: What did you say?
Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...
[picks up a megaphone]
Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?
Stan: Holy ****, dude.
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"Cartman: See, it doesn't hurt anyone! ****, ****ety, ****, ****, ****.
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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"Sheila Broflovski: What the heck is a rimjob?
Mrs. Cartman: Why, that's where you put your legs behind your head and let someone lick your ass.
"

Source Unknown in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut - 1999

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