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"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." Judy Garland
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judy_Garland

Add Category or Author American Actress    Funny    inspirational    Motivational   

Robin Williams

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Williams

Add Category or Author American Comedian    Funny   

Mitch Hedberg

"I think fooseball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs." Mitch Hedberg
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitch_Hedberg

Add Category or Author Funny   

Albert Einstein

"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed." Albert Einstein
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein

Add Category or Author Funny    Love    Marriage    Men    Men And Women    Women   


"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself." Johnny Carson
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Carson

Add Category or Author American Comedian    Death    Funny   

Marilyn Monroe

"It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on." Marilyn Monroe
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe

Add Category or Author American Actress    Funny    Quote of the Day    Short Funny    Top Funny   


"Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin .. it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring." J. Perelman

Add Category or Author Funny    Love    Quote of the Day   


"A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age." Source Unknown

Add Category or Author Birthday    Friends Or Friendship    Funny   

Jimmy Carter

"I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but i can't get my wife to go swimming." Jimmy Carter

Add Category or Author Funny    Funny Life    Life   


"Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong." Author unknown

Add Category or Author Funny    Funny Life   


"Three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere: Hold my purse." Author unknown

Add Category or Author Friend or Friendship    Funny    Funny Life   

Oscar Wilde

"The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything." Oscar Wilde
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_Wilde

Add Category or Author Age And Aging    Birthday    Funny    inspirational    Life   


"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." Robert McCloskey
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_McCloskey

Add Category or Author American Author    Communication    Funny    inspirational    Life   

Lewis Carroll

"One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. Which road do I take? she asked. Where do you want to go? was his response. I don't know, Alice answered. Then, said the cat, it doesn't matter." Lewis Carroll
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_Carroll

Add Category or Author Goals   

Jerry Seinfeld

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason" Jerry Seinfeld
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Seinfeld

Add Category or Author Funny    Life    Quote of the Day   

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