1FunnyQuotes.com
quotes - poems - jokes - photos
 

All Quotes

Found 1,279,039 quotes .
[ Page 2 of 67 ]
.

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." Judy Garland
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judy_Garland

Add Category or Author American Actress    Funny    inspirational    Motivational   

Robin Williams

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Williams

Add Category or Author American Comedian    Funny   

Mitch Hedberg

"I think fooseball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs." Mitch Hedberg
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitch_Hedberg

Add Category or Author Funny   

Albert Einstein

"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed." Albert Einstein
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein

Add Category or Author Funny    Love    Marriage    Men    Men And Women    Women   

.

"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself." Johnny Carson
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Carson

Add Category or Author American Comedian    Death    Funny   

Marilyn Monroe

"It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on." Marilyn Monroe
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe

Add Category or Author American Actress    Funny    Quote of the Day    Short Funny    Top Funny   

.

"Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin .. it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring." J. Perelman

Add Category or Author Funny    Love    Quote of the Day   

.

"A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age." Source Unknown

Add Category or Author Birthday    Friends Or Friendship    Funny   

Jimmy Carter

"I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but i can't get my wife to go swimming." Jimmy Carter

Add Category or Author Funny    Funny Life    Life   

.

"Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong." Author unknown

Add Category or Author Funny    Funny Life   

.

"Three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere: Hold my purse." Author unknown

Add Category or Author Friend or Friendship    Funny    Funny Life   

Oscar Wilde

"The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything." Oscar Wilde
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_Wilde

Add Category or Author Age And Aging    Birthday    Funny    inspirational    Life   

.

"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." Robert McCloskey
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_McCloskey

Add Category or Author American Author    Communication    Funny    inspirational    Life   

Lewis Carroll

"One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. Which road do I take? she asked. Where do you want to go? was his response. I don't know, Alice answered. Then, said the cat, it doesn't matter." Lewis Carroll
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_Carroll

Add Category or Author Goals   

Jerry Seinfeld

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason" Jerry Seinfeld
Wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Seinfeld

Add Category or Author Funny    Life    Quote of the Day   


Like us on Facebook for an inspiring quote every day!
X